Friday, August 7, 2009

I Miss You

Eric leaves tonight after work to go on a big camping trip for 5 days with his dad and brothers. As much as he is looking forward to it, I’m going to really miss him. Its remarkable how even though he is not there when I go to bed, I look forward to waking up next to him. I suppose it is a comfort thing. I am going back home for the weekend to try and figure out some wedding details with mom. She has a good mind for seeing the ‘whole’ picture before any of it is done…thank god because I don’t!! Word is we are supposed to have a pretty bad winter here since the summer has been so mild (hit record lows) so I would ideally like to get as much as human possible done before the temperatures start dipping into the single digits. Just thinking about how many things we have left to do makes my head spin. Hopefully after this weekend I’ll have a better grip on things…hopefully, the 2hr drive is painful so it better be worth it!
For a few months I have been trying to eat as healthy as possible, even taking vitamins (impressive huh) and walking during the week with J since she is also trying to drop a few pounds. All this working out & eating healthy better pay off for the big day because I could really go for a huge chocolate chip cookie right now…and ice cream. Mmm. Instead of calling it a ‘diet’ I am anticipating this being a life-style change, as is J. I didn’t eat unhealthy to begin with but I’m starting to work more salads, fruit and veggies into my diet…oh yes, and water! Plenty of it!! Both J and I want to have children in the near future and somewhere one of us heard if you are skinny before you get pregnant you will most likely be all belly (no clue if there is any truth to that)
J Plus, I would much rather look back on our honeymoon pictures and say “wow I was lean” instead of “wish I had dropped those last few pounds”….its all psychological I know.
As I sit a work, bored out of my mind so many questions run through my head. Will we still be head over heels in love 10yrs from now? What obstacles will we face and how will we handle them? Will we like where we move? Will we be good parents? Only time will tell, but as the wedding day is slowly but surely approaching I can only expect questions like this to become more frequent. I think its normal…right?

Thursday, August 6, 2009


There is officially 9 months 2 weeks and 1 day until the big wedding day. I decided to start keeping a blog of feelings/stressful situations and just plain documentation of how our engagement is slowly ending and our lives as husband and wife will soon begin. Maybe one day I will look back on this and laugh J It is funny to think about how much I have grown up since I got engaged, everything from the way I think about life and my future plans to the relationship with my family on a daily basis. Everything includes Eric and what is best for us, not just me anymore. I find myself being more ‘motherly’, but not in the same sense of my mom being motherly, but more or less making sure laundry is done, the dishes are in the dishwasher and the pets are fed. I’m becoming an actual adult. When did that happen? It’s scary yet exciting to be starting a new chapter in my life with someone I love. When Eric and I were dating I rarely felt the butterflies in my stomach, but the feeling was more comfortable and easy-going then head over heels in love. The closer and closer it’s getting to the wedding the more we are communicating and working through tough issues I sense that this is helping our relationship tremendously. I’m beginning to get those exciting butterflies in my stomach, can’t wait until the next time I see him kind of feeling. I don’t know where it came from or when it started but it is the most amazing sensation I have ever felt in my life. In my heart I truly believe he is the one for me. He is so motivated and caring, I only wish I had ½ the drive he does, and he will be graduating next spring with his MBA. I wish he knew how proud I was of him; this is an amazing accomplishment I want to tell him that over and over again. What’s so important to me is that he not only believes in himself, he also believes in me…that I can accomplish anything if I want to and he’ll back me up 100%. Its re-assuring to have someone I can count on by my side. We are starting to explore our options for moving after we get married, Eric wants to be able to transfer with his current job and ideally I will too; however we want to have children right away (scary!) so I guess time will tell? All I know is that I am the luckiest woman in the world :-)